The above picture pretty much sums up my life right
now.If I’m not dedicating my time to
being a human pillow for every child to lay on, I’m either working my 9:00 to
5:00, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, taking care of the yard or spending much
needed time in my newly coined man cave (my garage) tossing around heavy
weights sans kids or dime piece A.KA. wife.My work and garage have now become my sanctuary for peace and
quiet.Though I do love my family.I really do….. promise =)Needless to say, time is not on my side
nowadays. My days are jam packed and planned
out maximize every second.There just
aren’t enough hours/minutes in the day to do everything.Hence my lack luster communication and build
up to this, our 10th anniversary of Pre-Thanksgiving Giving!Regardless, that’s not an excuse and you, my
Turkey Gobblers, deserve better.While
you most definitely deserved better from me in this build up, I can promise you
one thing.There will be no let down
this year.You have come to expect
greatness and greatness I will give you! As noted in previous years, when times are
tough I always tell my lady one thing, “We are Smiths and we piss excellence!”.So I’m going to whip it out piss all over
this party and make it a year to remember!!!Bam!!!
Welcome to the 2015 Pre-Thanksgiving Giving!Our 10 year anniversary!My oh my how far we have come.If you would like to familiarize yourself
with a brief history of the past 10
years, look no further than the last post here and enjoy rotting your brain
away.This year will be no different
than years past.You can expect to see
everything you have come to love about Pre-Thanksgving.Tons of mind blowing food, booze and of
course, last year’s new addition of the talent show.That’s right!The Talent Show is back!So bring
you’re A game and whatever ridiculous talent you would like to present.The dumber the talent, the better.
I hope everyone has been thinking about their dishes and
practicing their talents. If not, you
suck.Regardless, I look forward to
seeing everyone Saturday night and can’t wait to make this another year to
remember!
Rules
This rule here
is the beauty of Pre-Thanksgiving Giving. Everyone brings a dish to
be passed around. Everything eaten at Pre-Thanksgiving Giving MUST
be homemade. This is the biggest rule of all. Don’t even
try to pass off something at this party as homemade when you actually
bought it from a store. That’s grounds for getting pointed and
laughed at the whole night. Trust me, I can tell if you made it or
not. Even if your dish tastes like crap, bring it! We might
make fun of you a little bit but I’m sure you will have a good story
about why it sucks.
Everyone must
bring a bottle of wine, or some kind of alcohol, to be passed
around.
You must
eat. And by eat, I mean A LOT! Second and third helpings of
dinner are a must. You will be applauded for your efforts
Awards.
Awards will be voted on and determined by you. We will announce
winners at the end of the night for the following categories:
Best Overall Dish
Best Entree
Best App
Best Dessert
Look at those rules.Study them and execute them with
excellence.You vets.Look at the those rules to remind yourself
what is expected of you.We all piss
excellence on this day so feel free to pee all over your dishes if you would
like.
Menu:
1. Jason
– oven turkey, smoked turkey, bacon-n-egg app
Procrastination is the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks
in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in
place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a
later time, sometimes to the "last minute" before the deadline.
It has been brought to my attention by several folks that I have been procrastinating my ass off in terms of getting my traditional Pre-Thanksgiving Giving email out. Get off my back =) I must admit though, yes, I have been procrastinating a bit. No reason in particular. Maybe I've been a bit busy with life or maybe I've literally been a slacker and just been putting off impending tasks to a later time. Or, maybe I was scared. Scared that I just couldn't figure out how to make this years Pre-Thanksgiving bigger and better than it has been in the past. To be honest, it's been a combination of life being busy (lie, never to busy to think about Pre-Thaksgiving giving) and the fear of trying to make this years party epic. I've sat on this for a while now. How do we make this, this Pre-Thanksgiving a thing to remember? In these types of situations, I always think its important to look at the past. As my good Confucius once said:
"How does one know where he is going, if one do not know where one has been?".
With that in mind, in planning out this years Pre-Thanksgiving Giving, I decided it would be a great time to do exactly that. To sit and think about where Pre-Thanksgiving started in order to help me plan the new direction it will take in the coming weeks. With that said, lets all take a moment. Relaaaaaaaaaax. Notice the tension in your face. Let it gooooo........ and lets take a look at Pre-Thanksgivings of the past.
2005 Pre-Thanksgiving I
Young, fresh, innocent and virgin. This is where it all started. This is where the cherry was popped. In a cozy two bedroom apartment on the border between Denver and Aurora, this is where the four Founding Fathers of Pre-Thanksgiving first broke bread. Ali, Jason, Stephanie and Ben sat and enjoyed a simple all homemade traditional Thanksgiving and thus, the idea of Pre-Thanksgiving Giving was born.
2006 Pre-Thanksgiving II
Year number two. Still a small gathering of friends but we grew by two!
The introduction of our yearly smoked turkey.
The birth of one of the great rules of Pre-Thanksgiving Giving.
Everyone must go for seconds! The result of doing so, full belly's!
Our party may have been small, but we were mighty!
2007 Pre-Thanksgiving III
Our break out year! Our numbers grew by twofold and this most definitely set the stage for years to come.
Do to the large number in attendance, we had to resort to multiple tables to ensure everyone had a seat.
This year brought us the famous "pose with a turkey" pictures.
This year also brought to us the introduction of drinking heavily. Or maybe I should say, it brought to us the introduction of red head Kristen drinking heavily.
And who could forgot when one of the members of our party went legend! Rhonda Harley solidified her place in Pre-Thanksgiving history with her display of absolute disregard of manners by splattering her plate of food all over the place like some barbaric animal. Hell, my 15 month old daughter can do a better job of keeping her food on her plate compared to this.
2008 Pre-Thanksgiving IV
More of the same shenanigans along with a few new faces
2009 Pre-Thanksgiving V
Which then brings us to our 5 year anniversary and boy oh boy did it not disappoint. We were blessed on this Pre-Thanksgiving to have three notable events take place.
First, there was the birth of pin the tail on the turkey. Loved by all but played by few.
Next, a newcomer (Blake) to the event displays a thing of beauty when he creates his world renowned "Blakes Kick'n Greens". From that day on, this is one of those dishes that will quickly disappear at every Pre-Thanksgiving
The third and final notable event from this Pre-Thanksgiving, comes from one of our 4 Founding Fathers. Stephanie May Smith. Mrs. Smith, along with her sidekick for the night Kinsey Ringenberg, put on display sheer beauty at this Pre-Thanksgiving as they decided to have a few too many drinks. As most folks do at this party, drinking has become part of the tradition but it is the aftermath of that drinking that creates memories.
It all started with a simple drink in the hand but what it turned into, no one could have pictured.
What ensued was sheer and utter madness! Here, Mrs. Smith and her drunken friend Kinsey look like they "kind" of have their shit together.
Next thing you know, Mrs. Smith turns into a rabies infected dog attacking Mrs. Ringenberg!
Now in full on druknen mode, things quickly go down hill. Mrs. Smith decides to make her way outside of the party where she molests a poor black cup.
Ahhhhh the old get to the car, start feeling like crap and then quickly bolt out into the snow to vomit your guts out. Gross! No worries to me. I still tapped it that night.
Finally safe at home but the vomiting continues.
This one is by far my favorite =)
2010 Pre-Thanksginv VI
This year brought to us the introduction of eating dinner in a garage.
2011 Pre-Thanksgiving VII
It was all abut the food!
And of course, enjoying that food with good friends.
2012 Pre-Thanksgiving VIII
This Pre-Thanksgiving brought us a smaller more intimate gathering allowing us to all dine inside. Nice and cozy!
Though it may have been a small gathering, there was still no lack of great food.
While this year may have been a pretty tame party compared to the early years, it did have its all-star of the night. Mr. Dex Landreth. This man wins MVP of the night for what he did to ensure his attendance at this party. You see, the man in the bottom left hand corner took great measures to ensure he would be stuffing his face with turkey. Early that day, Mr. Landreth was actually far far away from our hometown of Denver. Mr. Landreth was actually across the ocean eating a croissant and sipping cappuccino over in Europe. That didn't stop him from attending Pre-Thanksgiving though. Mr. Landreth jumped on a flight earlier that day from Europe arriving back in Denver later that night around 8:00 while Pre-Thanksgiving was taking place. With nobody at the airport to pick him up (his wife was already at Pre-Thanksgiving, duh) he had to figure out a way to get to the party. Taxi! Mr. Landreth arrived to Pre-Thanksgiving by taxi, suitcase in tow. After a quick shower to freshen up a bit after is transoceanic flight (Yes, he showered at my house. I hope he used my towel to dry off with. Balls all over his face) he was soon enjoying the fruits of Pre-Thanksgving. Dedication right there.
2013 Pre-Thanksgiving IX
Much more of the same.
This year, we were blessed to be in the presence of a Presidential candidate
Also a pro golfer (no bullshit)!
Dinning in class
2014 Pre-Thanksgiving X
Aaaaaaaahhhh much better now. After reflecting on the years past, I feel a sense of clarity come over my mind. A sense of direction has been bestowed upon me. I know now what must happen to make this years party a thing to remember........
Please Press Play (If you are viewing this on your mobile device this ain't gonna work so pull it up on a PC. Will be much better if you do)
ARRRRRRE YOOOOOOU REEEEEEEEADY!!! LETS GO!!
Ya baby! Let’s get this shizzy started! Welcome
to Pre-Thanksgiving Giving 2014! As you've seen from our little history
lesson, this is a party like no other. A party where you may be cheered
for making an exceptional dish of food or booed for being that looser that
makes some crappy ass food. A party where you can drink all the booze you
want or just relax and sit in the corner with your hands down your pants.
Either way, all are welcome! This year’s party will be no different than
years past but will have one new wrinkle.There will be tons of food, tons to drink and tons of friends to share
it all with!So put your party hat on,
get your cooking skills ready and let’s get ready to grub!
Now, let’s get down to business.I believe for the most part, we have all veterans
coming this year with only a few rookies.For you rookies, let me lay out the rules
here.
Everyone brings a dish to be passed
around. Everything eaten at Pre-Thanksgiving Giving MUST be
homemade. This is the biggest rule of all. Don’t even try to
pass off something at this party as homemade when you actually bought it from a
store. That’s grounds for getting pointed and laughed at the whole
night. Trust me, I can tell if you made it or not. This rule here
is the beauty of Pre-Thanksgiving Giving. Even if your dish tastes like
crap, bring it! We might make fun of you a little bit but I’m sure
you will have a good story about why it sucks.
Everyone must bring a bottle of wine, or some kind of alcohol, to be
passed around.
You must eat. And by eat, I
mean A LOT! Second and third helpings of dinner are a must. You
will be applauded for your efforts
Awards. Awards will be voted on and
determined by you. We will announce winners at the end of the night for
the following categories:
Best Overall Dish
Best Entree
Best App
Best Dessert
Look at those rules.Study them and execute them with
excellence.You vets, look at the those
rules to remind yourself what is expected of you.We all piss excellence on this day!
So what is this year’s wrinkle and how will this party set itself apart from parties in the past?Let me explain.Who’s got
talent?That’s, right.WHO'S GOT TALENT?You?I
sure hope you do because this year we will be featuring a………. TALENT SHOW!Don’t roll yourf’ing eyes at me.Smile!Don’t be nervous.Smile!Yes, this year after dinner we will be having
a talent show.All attendees ARE EXPECTED
TO PARTICIPATE or will have to face the consequences of being ridiculed by your
peers for being a loser.Participants
can perform as a pair (husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, boy/boy, girl/girl,
human/animal, etc) or solo.What kind of
talent are we looking for?Anything!Can you fart on command?Do you play an instrument?Tell jokes?Burp the alphabet?The dumber,
the better.So, put your thinking caps
on and get to practicing your talent.You have one week to get ready so don’t be slacking.
Menu.The key
ingredient to making this party successful is menu planning.Please review the menu at the top right of this page. If there is nothing next to your name, let me know what you want to cook and I'll get our list updated. We will need some desserts, some sides and apps.
Party time. Party will get started at 6:00, Saturday November 8th, so show up any time around then. If you have an app, try and not to be too late.
